


Traffic Jam

by fullofbloodandhoney



Series: Terry's Glee Reaction Fics [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-18
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullofbloodandhoney/pseuds/fullofbloodandhoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>anon prompt from tumblr: "getting stuck in a traffic jam. Blaine is getting restless because the humidity is going to ruin his hair, so Kurt has to find a way to distract him." A bit of a belated 4x18 reaction and it also contains some 4x21 song spoilers and other stuff from that episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Traffic Jam

> **anon prompted:** getting stuck in a traffic jam. Blaine is getting restless because the humidity is going to ruin his hair, so Kurt has to find a way to distract him
> 
> _k/b, 1600 words, minor spoilers for 4x21_

**Blaine**

Stuck in a traffic jam OMW from school. And clearly, it’s not moving anytime soon.

**Blaine**

Please entertain me while I stare dully at the landscape. Which are basically trees. Lots of them.

**Blaine**

It’s really warm in here. I’m baking like a chicken in a foil packet.

**Blaine**

Kurt

**Blaine**

Kuuuurrrrttttttttt

**Kurt**

Stop blowing up my texts, maniac.

**Kurt**

Some of us have classes in the afternoon, you know!

**Kurt**

Also: Are you texting while driving?! Didn’t you learn anything from Quinn?

**Blaine**

Kurt. I literally haven’t moved an inch in the last 10 minutes. I think I’ll be fine.

**Kurt**

Traffic jams in Lima, though? Really? The only time I had to stop for longer than 5 minutes was when there were ducks on the road.

**Kurt**

They were really slow ducks.

**Blaine**

This is no ducks. An accident.

**Kurt**

Wait, an accident? Are you all right? Should I call you?

**Blaine**

Hold your horses. It wasn’t *my* accident. Might have been ducks in an accident, though.

**Blaine**

Ducks in tiny cars.

**Kurt**

Blaine.

**Blaine**

No, but really. Calm down. I don’t even know where the accident happened since the line of cars in front of me is apparently going on into the infinity.

**Blaine**

It looks like a really weird version of Milky Way. Metal-y and car-y.

**Kurt**

Blaine. Have you been inhaling gas fumes or is this just your brain overheating?

**Blaine**

No, just bored. I’m almost in Westerville. NGL, tempted to leave the car to its fate and just walk home.

**Kurt**

Don’t you dare! I have some fond memories of that car.

**Kurt**

Also, we don’t *just leave* Prisues to their fate, Blaine. Shame on you.

**Kurt**

Are you seriously that bored?

**Blaine**

I’m THAT bored, yes.

**Blaine**

Also it’s pretty hot and the humidity is doing disgusting things to my hair.

**Kurt**

Picture me rolling my eyes.

**Blaine**

I never picture you without eye-rolling.

**Blaine**

Just without clothes.

**Blaine**

Ok, whoa, I take that back. Way beyond Just Friends Territory.

**Blaine**

The humidity is apparently affecting my filter as well.

**Blaine**

And the cars are still not moving. DAMMIT.

**Kurt**

Still rolling my eyes.

**Kurt**

How come you left school so late, anyway? Don’t tell me Mr. Schue made you practice for Regionals.

**Kurt**

He never does that. He always says he will, but never does. It used to drive me bananas.

**Blaine**

The police are still going through people’s lockers and they thought the amount of hair gel in mine was suspicious.

**Kurt**

I really want to laugh because it’s funny, but oh god, honey, what did you tell them?

**Kurt**

Oops, the honey kind of just slipped in there.

**Blaine**

That’s ok, Tina called me far more intimate names.

**Kurt**

Don’t remind me, oh my god.

**Blaine**

It’s all good now. Me, Tina and Sam have a special kind of friendship.

**Kurt**

Oh my god.

**Blaine**

Not the dirty kind.

**Kurt**

Please stop speaking.

**Blaine**

Anyway, the police stopped asking me questions when they actually *saw* my hair, so I guess it was self-explanatory?

**Kurt**

Of course it was.

**Blaine**

But yeah, it takes ages to get to school and to get home now, mostly because of the new metal detectors. What a drag.

**Kurt**

Shut up. They’re there for your safety, dollop head.

**Kurt**

I’d rather you came home so late it’s already dark than not at all. I still can’t believe somebody actually brought gun to McKinley.

**Blaine**

I know. I keep trying to dismiss it, but then I remember sitting in that choir room and listening to thatmetronome

**Blaine**

Like it was counting out the remaining seconds of my life and I just

**Kurt**

Don’t say that. You got out of there and you’re all just fine.

**Blaine**

Yes, but what if we didn’t.

**Kurt**

But you did.

**Blaine**

But what if we didn’t, Kurt? There are so many things I want to do before I die. Lots of them include you, you know.

**Blaine**

What if I never got out of there? Without making it right between us?

**Kurt**

But you did get out of there, Blaine.

**Kurt**

Which reminds me, your mom called me last night.

**Blaine**

Wait, my MOM called you??? What did she want?

**Kurt**

She was just making sure you were really all right. Funny how she thought I’d be the one to know better than her.

**Kurt**

She was worried you were just pretending to be fine. She thought you’d have told me if you weren’t.

**Blaine**

What can I say, she knows me well. I can’t believe she actually called you, though. Wasn’t that like the third time ever you two spoke?

**Kurt**

Yep. And she was really nice. She even asked me about how I was doing at NYADA.

**Kurt**

She sounded genuinely interested. She was never this nice to me back when we were dating.

**Blaine**

It takes a while for her to really warm up to people.

**Blaine**

But once she sticks her claws into you she won’t let go. Also, she’s phenomenal in kitchen so maybe you could share recipes!

**Kurt**

I don’t think we’re reached the cauliflower pate point just yet, Blaine, contain your excitement. Your mom will never love me as much as my dad loves you.

**Kurt**

Honestly. It’s a bit ridiculous.

**Blaine**

Yes, that’s right. Burt and I are bros.

**Kurt**

Please, do not refer to my father as your bro ever again.

**Blaine**

I’m just really happy your dad still likes me.

**Kurt**

What are you talking about? He’d adopt you if he could.

**Blaine**

Well, it was really difficult after… you know.

**Kurt**

Yeah I know. Partially my fault though. I was really angry back then and I told dad not to speak to you. Guess I was lucky he didn’t listen to me.

**Blaine**

I’m sorry.

**Kurt**

I know. Hey, speaking of my dad, are we still on with the appointment thing? I already booked my ticket and all. I also have something planned for him.

**Blaine**

Yes, we’re still on! Is me picking you up at the airport still fine?

**Blaine**

Oh and do tell! A surprise?

**Kurt**

Of course it’s fine, silly! I haven’t seen you in person since the wedding. I’m not going to wait until you find it Just Friends Territory-appropriate to come see me!

**Kurt**

Especially not after the shooting. I need to make sure you’re still *there*.  

**Kurt**

And oh nono, I’m not telling you, because you’ll tell dad and ruin the surprise.

**Blaine**

Excuse me, you’re the one insisting on keeping things in the JFT.

**Blaine**

I’d be more than happy to show you just how *there* I am.

**Blaine**

That sounded less suggestive over text than I intended. Picture me waggling my eyebrows as well?

**Kurt**

Blaine, I never picture you without eyebrow-waggling.

**Blaine**

Touché.

**Blaine**

Also PLEASE, as If I’d ruin a surprise for Burt!

**Blaine**

No, but seriously, tell me. The line is still not moving and I’m starting to think I’ll grow old in this car. I also don’t want to think about the fact that I drank a lot of juice at lunch and that I’ll have to

**Blaine**

Invent some new ways of going to the bathroom in this car or something terrible will happen.

**Blaine**

Not to mention the humidity has just reached that point where my hair are starting to break out of the gel. I’m going to look like Jacob Ben Israel.

**Blaine**

You wouldn’t want to see.

**Kurt**

Oh but I *have* seen, Blaine.

**Blaine**

No, you haven’t! This is much worse than prom!

**Kurt**

…it can’t be worse than prom: morning after.

**Blaine**

Oh.

**Blaine**

*more eyebrow waggling*

**Kurt**

Ok, here you go: I’m planning on singing to my dad. At McKinley. So I’m gonna need to borrow the auditorium, obviously.

**Blaine**

Ohhh! Intrigued!

**Kurt**

I want to do it after the appointment, whatever the results are. I’m naming you my chief co-conspirator. Find me some back-up singers? Three should do it?

**Kurt**

I was going to ask Tina myself, but I wasn’t sure if we were definitely on good terms mow.

**Blaine**

Haha, Tina is fine, I promise. I’ll talk to her.

**Kurt**

Ok

**Blaine**

What’s the song?

**Kurt**

What?

**Blaine**

Oh don’t play dumb. What are you singing for Burt?

**Kurt**

Oh. Well, I was thinking… maybe I could show you? I mean, I sing all the time at NYADA, and Rachel and I give each other concrit on daily basis… but I always really valued your opinion?

**Blaine**

Kurt.

**Blaine**

Of course.

**Kurt**

Good. Can I call you then? Or are you too busy staring out of the window and thinking about ducks in tiny cars? Or about peeing?

**Blaine**

Just shut up and press the button, Kurt.

(…)

**Kurt**

So?

**Blaine**

What are you expecting me to say? I’m floored. Well, car-ed.

**Blaine**

Burt is going to love it.

**Kurt**

Did you?

**Blaine**

Obviously! It was perfect. The perfect song for the loving father from his loving son. I can’t wait to hear it with the band.

**Blaine**

That is, if I’m there when you sing it…?

**Kurt**

Of course you are, dumbass.

**Kurt**

I’m so happy you liked it. I have to go now, Blaine, but I hope your suffering won’t take much longer. Text me when you get home so I know you’re not still on the road at midnight?

**Blaine**

Of course. Text me back?

**Kurt**

Always.

**Blaine**

Hey, Kurt.

**Kurt**

Hmm?

**Blaine**

You are the sunshine of *my* life.


End file.
